I’m not sure what one has to do with the other but I write about them both so here goes…
I tend to think people, in general, overcomplicate things.
I love simplicity. I long for it.
I think it’s my age showing, lessons learned, living with all the stuff.
I’m in the midst of a huge purge.
Bags and bags of things I have given away, donated or thrown out.
It feels good to get rid of the stuff. I think it weighs us down.
I don’t think we need a lot. And the stuff never seems to fill the void we often feel.
I’ve realized that void is truly only filled by God. I guess once you finally get to that place it’s easy to let go of the stuff. It’s freeing!
Things we tire of; clothes, decorations, hobbies. I’m guilty of all of it but less and less as the years pass.
I’m also trying to distract myself for the next couple weeks from the inevitable goodbye.
It’s more than my heart can bear so I’m keeping busy while she’s busy. The pile of her dorm stuff greets me throughout the day. Soon the pile will be gone and she will be off to school.
No more weeknights waiting for her to arrive safely home. No more kitchen chats during the school week. No more sissy hugs every single day. No fighting with her brother because he’s running late and she wants to leave for school. I’ll miss the laughter coming from her room. Visits from her friends, cars coming and going. All the tiny things that make up our lives will be different without her here. That’s just a fact. Yes, she will be back, but it will never be just like it is right now.
She has the most infectious smile, she’s a go-getter, she’s smart, loves her friends, she’s fun and funny and she’s my girl. I prayed for a daughter and I was 32 when I had her so I waited a long time. I feel so blessed to be her momma and my heart just plain ole hurts. I honestly don’t care what people think about that. I’ve spent 18 years taking care of her and I can’t just pretend that I’m fine and my job is to happily let her go.
So while I’m working my way through all the junk in the house I’m hoping that I’ve prepared her well enough for her new adventure. Praying God watches over her, hoping she will miss me just a little. I’ve been going through all the albums and baby clothes and I can remember like it was yesterday bringing her home knowing my life was forever changed in the best way imaginable.
It’s just another rite of passage as a mother, another season we have to adjust to. So onward and upward we go. Thanks for sticking with me.
Much love to you all.